Enter the Missionaries

Back to the front
you will do what I say, when I say
Back to the front
you will die when I say, you must die
Back to the front
you coward
you servant
you blindman

…and in walked the Mormon Missionaries. Both Anti-Shen and Tiff stayed around for the spectacle. The discussion stayed on track (mostly) with me asking more general questions about the nature of god and his laws. Every time the missionaries reverted to anything remotely resembling a canned response I would verbally thwack them on the head in hopes that they would give me thoughtful answers. Sometimes it worked, like when I asked them if god’s laws were absolute. They assured me that laws were absolute. When confronted about murder in the context of war or lying to protect those you love, they narrowed their eyes as if confronted with a four-dimensional Rubix Cube. Hopefully they walked away a little wiser, because I sure didn’t. The conversation wasn’t a complete waste though. I think it was Anti-Shen who said, “From an academic standpoint it’s interesting.” He hit the nail on the head; I learned about the Mormon religion, but that’s about it. Here’s a tidbit of information that shed new light on the whole missionary thang: They pay $10,000 to go on their missions. See how the picture comes into focus? Not only are they social renobs who use a the missionary purpose to escape the “reject” tag placed upon them by their peers, but they’re also spoiled sheltered rich boys who use their daddy’s pocketbook for their escapist purposes. Both of the missionaries also admitted that they didn’t “know” the truth until they had been on their mission for quite some time. These kids didn’t truly believe in Mormonism when they signed up the mission. WTF? Of course it is a brilliant plan, sending kids to convince others about the “truth” only to have the kids convince themselves, if no one else.

The more I think about it, the more appropriate Metallica’s Disposable Heros was for the occasion.

Soldier boy, made of clay
now an empty shell
twenty one, only son
but he served us well
Bred to kill, not to care
just do as we say
finished here, Greeting Death
he's yours to take away

The missionaries are, in a sense, foot soldiers of the Mormon institution. “Made of clay,” is quite the reference to their belief in Genesis. To be melodramatic about their situation, one could say they are brainwashed “empty shell(s).” All missionaries are 19 to 22 years old and are sent our to “serve” the Mormon institution. I’d be stretching things to say the “bred to kill” line applies to the missionaries, but let me try anyway. They are “bred to kill” free thought through the weapons of religious dogma. The missionaries follow the instructions pounded into their simple minds by their training (i.e., brainwashing); hence, the line, “just do as we say.” The last two lines reference their belief that if they are good missionaries and good Mormons that Jesus will take them away.

It was quite a trippy experience. Every time I looked at Tiff I would almost bust out laughing. It took so much self-control to be respectful of their presence. Of course I wasn’t helping things by flashing the Ozzy/rock/devil sign every time they Mormons turned away from me.

Back to the front!
...and so it was written, shenry at 7/30/2002 10:20:00 AM.
...and so it was appended with .