Fart on the Hand that Feeds You

Last night El-Sea was ready for bed and she was being too precious. So after I tucked her in I curled up next to her and pushed up her nightgown to tickle her soft back. Sometimes El-Sea can be the sweetest thing that ever lived and when she said, “Thank you for tickling my back, Daddy. You make me happy.” I melted into an ooey-gooey puddle. Soon SSDiabolique joined us and the three of us lay together feeling safe and warm as we listened to each other breath. I was in my happy place, tickling El-Sea’s back and cuddling with SSDiabolique. Then El-Sea said, “Daddy, put your hand on my butt.” I understood what she said but the request made no sense to me. I felt SSDiabolique tilt her head and stop breathing in order to hear El-Sea better. When I asked El-Sea to repeat herself she said the same thing. My mind was stripping its gears trying to understand: Maybe she has an itch. Maybe her butt is cold. Maybe… I was still puzzled but El-Sea was so adorable that I had no choice but to comply. I placed my hand on El-Sea’s tiny 4-year-old butt. The explosion that shot out of her filthy ass defiled my hand and blasted it off her butt. FOUL! Earsplitting and juicy, the fart lasted a good thirty seconds and annihilated the serene calm of the bedroom. Fucking disgusting. Shocked silence ensued as I thought about cutting off my tainted left hand. As soon as I decided against such recourse I realized that I had been set up by a mastermind. We laughed. What a devious child.

Where does she come up with this stuff? She’s only four.
...and so it was written, shenry at 10/19/2002 04:11:00 PM.
...and so it was appended with .