Cheese: Concluded

What good is a blog if not to follow up on anecdotes and other wackiness that took place so long ago that only Biztang the Blathering cares? I found the cheese in the cupboards above the refrigerator. It makes sense. That’s where we keep the Ziploc Baggies. I cut a couple of ounces of cheese for lunch and put the slices in a baggie. Then I picked up the pound of mozzarella, thinking it was the box of baggies, and tossed it into the cupboards. Boom! Case of the missing mozzarella is solved.

I am, however, a wee disappointed in the whole thing. I expected 6-month un-refrigerated cheese to display signs of self-awareness. I expect the cheese to recoil at my touch until it realizes that I am its creator… its god! I expect the colonies of evolved mold spores to bow their fungi heads in reverence. I expect billions of tiny bacterial voices to cry out in pain when I shove the stinky brick down the garbage disposal and liquefy their universe. The damn thing isn’t even a cool florescent shade of chartreuse or violet; it’s simply slimy brown.

Luckily, SSDiabolique found the damn thing and tossed it in the freezer until I got home. She said the aroma was a manifestation of the 36 hells visited by Biztang in his journey for enlightenment. Due to its semi-cryogenically frozen state the off-gasses from the cheese were minimal, and as soon as I snapped some digi-picts of the mozza-sludge-rella I shuttled its smelly ass directly out to the alley dumpster.
...and so it was written, shenry at 11/21/2002 09:03:00 AM.
...and so it was appended with .