Use Me / Abuse Me

After reading Silver Queen and The BajoProf Chronicles I’ve noticed a very real need for a sorry-I’ve-been-neglecting-my-blog excuse. Well, you’ve found it… me. I offer up my services as a fall guy for those times when life gets in the way and you just can’t find the time to update your blog. Just reference this post and the appropriate menu number below:

Sorry I haven’t updated lately but…

1 …I’ve been making out with Shenry too much
2 …Shenry hogs the computer too much.
3 …Damn those bungee cords! Shenry strapped me to the roof of his VW and forgot about me.
4 …I've been in a coma for six weeks thanks to Shenry and his stupid obsession with glue fumes.
5 …Shenry was horsing around with the woodchipper and now it takes me two days to type one paragraph because I’m missing my right hand.
6 …after a year of therapy I’ve finally purged my mind of that vile vision of Shenry’s blindingly white ass.
7 …I figured if I pretended to be dead Shenry would stop harassing me. I was wrong.
8 …I’ve been waiting to use the bathroom forever and Shenry is camped out in there with his goddamn sports page.
9 …my keyboard has been all gunked up ever since I let Shenry surf for porn on my computer.
10 …Shenry told me not to.

You’re welcome.
...and so it was written, shenry at 12/31/2002 01:40:00 PM.
...and so it was appended with .