Big Pimpin’

I sat through four hours of boring contract talks with the intent of finding new idioms for referencing my wang, but it didn’t pan out. However, much to my surprise I did discover that I am part of a state-sanctioned prostitution ring. I jotted down some quotes to prove it:

…Is this for one-time, or an ongoing service?
…We have protection.
…formal solicitation…
…You don’t want to be gouged.
…learned a lot by doing an ugly one first.
…Are there any questions about when to use particular methods?
…I do like doing them.
…sort of twisted. It freaked me out.
…What is this animal going to look like?
…It’s good to make them sweat.
…the whole touchy feely thing.
…need to sign the waiver.
…everything is confidential
…location, location, location…
…so I wasn’t breaking the law?
…sit down in a circle and do this.
…hers was longer.
…Trade secrets are never released to the public.
…We’re going to tag team it.
…if they’re two minutes late and they cum screaming, then I’m going to reject them.

That’s right; Pimp Shenry is here to service your needs. Please realize that I work in a transportation engineering agency so my selection is limited to mostly feable pale two-pump geeks. Most of these geeks are highly anal retentive, which means you can count on a tight fit. If you’re willing to front the cheddar then I’ll hook you up with one of the scarce authentic female engineers. As a bonus, all three women do have moustaches for that extra ticklish pleasure.
...and so it was written, shenry at 1/15/2003 01:26:00 PM.
...and so it was appended with .