Style

Check it out. I’ve noticed that the way I write and the way I speak are two different things. I guess both reflect my personality. But if you judge my character and personality strictly upon my writing style then you probably have only a partial portrait of Shenry.

I’m trying to write this *pause* per my speaking pattern. But... it’s hard. I use a lot of pauses when I speak. I... the words come out my mouth rather haltingly. Of course I really don’t know. I do know that I try to *pause* eliminate verbal pauses like, “you know”, “uh”, “like”, “well”. But I still end up throwing a lot of those stupid words into my speech pattern.

I think it’s easier to write, for a variety of reasons. First, it’s a slower process then talking, so I can take longer to pick and choose words for typing than I can for speaking. Maybe, uh, this isn’t the case for a fast typer who cranks out *pause* lots of words a minute. I’m fucking slow when it comes to the keyboard. But that works in my favor, eh? See that last pause? I was searching for a number that would’ve related the speed of a professional typist. I came up empty and settled with “lots of words” instead of, like, 100 words/minute. See, I don’t even know if 100 wpm is humanly doable. I... It’s definitely impossible for my weak fingers.

Mmm. I think this *pause* exercise in writing my speaking is a failure.

I know I also use a lot of disclaimer type of words when I talk. Um, like “in my opinion”, “I think”, *pause* “the way I see it”... etc. I guess I don’t want to come off all pretentious and overbearing. I think this comes from watching a lot of people make fools of themselves by stating shit as fact. But if I throw out an observation and precede it with something like “I’m not a *pause* horticulture major, but *pause* maybe those berries aren’t edible.” It’s not for lack of confidence that I toss out these verbal disclaimers, I think it’s based upon, um, a general life philosophy. You know, me believing that absolute knowledge is impossible. *long pause* I guess that’s another topic that requires a lot more focus than I’m willing to give it here.

Sometimes, the *pause*... The beginning of my sentences and thoughts tend to have the majority of pauses and backtracking. I guess I put a lot of emphasis on starting my ideas on the right track. Once I *pause* get my speaking momentum going I can mitigate those awkward moments. Maybe it has something to do with thought patterns and organizing those structures in a manner that is verbally befitting. When people put me on the spot by asking my opinion or my input I know I *pause* take my time forming my response. Some people may think in more of a verbal manner. You know? Their thoughts come to them in complete succinct sentences. *pause* Uh, mine require a little more shuffling around.

I, uh, really don’t know if I’m doing my speech pattern justice here... or injustice. I need to record a conversation then retype it with all the lame “uh” “um” stuff. Whatever. I have notice that writing the way I feel I would speak is easier than my standard writing practices. I mean look... I’ve just written... what I have just written normally takes me a good couple hours of thought and *pause* planning and choosing words and structuring sentences. But I’ve laid out this page and a half rather quickly. *pause* I dunno. *pause* I wonder if I’ll reread this and think I...

Interesting. This has been interesting if nothing else.
...and so it was written, shenry at 4/02/2003 04:37:00 PM.
...and so it was appended with .