Lori Love

I try and try as a parent. I do my best to mold Lori into the next Courtney Love. Unfortunately, Lori keeps disappointing me. Today, she will receive the Student of the Month award at school. After everything I’ve taught her, this is how she repays me. Damn her and her piddley award ceremony. I’m taking the afternoon off to stop this travesty before it starts. You, principals and teachers, hear me now: I am coming!

Don’t worry; Lori will be punished accordingly. I will either force her to go to McDonalds or I will torture her with the hideous Lion King. Maybe both, depending upon the severity of her transgressions.

Why do our children treat us this way? We love them unconditionally. We provide for them. We transplant spiders out of their bedrooms. We help them with homework. We take them to R-rated movies. Where is the motherfucking love? Where is the reciprocation and the thanks?

Stupid Student of the Month award!

(Good job, girl.)

...and so it was written, shenry at 10/24/2003 12:12:00 PM.
...and so it was appended with .