work conundrum

I have a bit of a conundrum.

I mentioned, without much detail, that I got into trouble at work last week for an “unacceptable” email. I had three levels of supervisors in that disciplinary meeting, my immediate supervisor, my boss man, and the big boss man. Basically, big boss man said that my email tone was “unacceptable.” Boss man never said a word and totally avoided eye contact with me. Immediate supervisor acted as an impartial arbitrator. I acknowledged that big boss man was indeed big boss man; ergo, if he says the email is “unacceptable” then the email is “unacceptable”. I then expressed confusion and asked if everybody could go through the email with me and help me understand what I could change. Big boss man said it was “obvious”. I repeated my request and he stonewalled me with the threat of a “written” notification.

I’ve read and re-read that email a hundred times and I still can’t figure out the problem. I stated the facts, expressed a bit of frustration at this idiotic government agency (not in those words), and proposed a solution. I made no violent threats or sexual innuendos. I didn’t dis on anybody or trash talk. So what the fuck is going on?

I think I finally figured it out. The object of my frustration was upper-management (which includes big boss man) and the bureaucracy of this government agency. Big surprise there, eh. Everybody gets fed up with upper-management from time to time and everybody knows that inefficient government is the root of high tax rates. Here I am, a little wannabe-engineer (I won’t be an engineer until I pass that ridiculous board exam. My application is currently “under review”.), insinuating that people four levels above me aren’t doing their job in the best interest of the Colorado taxpayers. I’m chalking this up as a power trip; big boss man wanted to remind me that he’s in charge and I am an insignificant subordinate who should not question his actions.

Shit, I give my 5-year-old daughter more respect than what I recieved. If she questions my decision then I explain it to her, “Lori, you cannot wear that blue dress today, because it’s too cold outside for dresses.” This isn’t difficult unless the decision is arbitrary. “Stephen, your email is unacceptable, because the rhetorical question in paragraph three implies that I’m not doing my job right.”

So on to my conundrum:

Thursday, boss man (a.k.a. Mr. No-eye-contact) is treating his workers and bosses to a high-priced holiday lunch. Do I attend or do I bow out?

On one hand: Free food… good food, too… like Brazilian barbeque. If he’s willing to pay for me to eat then I should take advantage of him. And, with the exception of boss man and big boss man, I love my coworkers. Chillin’ with them is fun and ultra raunchy. I’ve enjoyed these little holiday lunches for the last two years, because of the favorable company.

On the other hand: Fuck them! Fuck big boss man and his retarded henchman, boss man. I have been disrespected and shat upon. Eating food that they pay for is a symbolically submissive gesture, plus it signifies that I’m hunky-dory with their bullshit.

I’m leaning toward canceling. I can’t enjoy a meal where I must politely smile at my bosses and thank them afterward. Fake, yo. But… am I being petty?
...and so it was written, shenry at 12/16/2003 11:03:00 AM.
...and so it was appended with .