one of those days

Do you ever get the feeling that it's going to be one of those days? You know, the kind of day where you stayed up waaaaaay too late the night before doing absolutely nothing important and consequently, when the alarm buzzes you out of your inadequate slumber, you hit the snooze button more times than you hit your dog last night. This leaves you less than fifteen minutes to catch your bus.

You know, the kind of day where you stumble into the frigid morning air to get the newspaper, and as you attempt to disarm the house alarm (which is a basic necessity given the neighborhood) you accidentally hit the PANIC button setting off the unholy siren scream, which pisses off the neighbors because it's 5:30AM and only idiots get up that early.

The kind of day where the police show up seconds after you called the alarm company to inform them that the alarm activation was accidental. The police are the kind of police who ask you to wake your whole family because they want to make sure that everybody is okay. Resigned, you cram your hands in your pockets and are immediately ordered to, "Please, remove your hands from your pocket." You're torn between the irritation of inconvenience, the depression of the $50 false alarm fine, the appreciations for the officers' response time, and the embarrassment of hitting the wrong button that is clearly marked PANIC.

You know, the kind of day where you don't have time to brush your teeth, or style your hair, or eat a smidge of breakfast.

The kind of day where you blaze out the front door and almost kill yourself as your right leg skids across a patch of ice and your whole body buckles, but, remarkably, you don't find yourself in a broken bloody heap on the ground. Instead, you've remained balanced and upright at the expense of several fucked knee ligaments. You resume your mad dash, the kind of mad dash that leaves you breathlessly waiting at the bus stop just in the nick of time. Yippee. You are now on your way to work, without enough sleep, without brushing your teeth, without breakfast, without a lunch, without a newspaper (which is still laying untouched on the front porch), without several knee tendons, and $50 shorter on cash.

Yeah, it's going to be one of those days. And, it's barely 8:00AM. I have a long day ahead of me and it makes me queasy to think about what other ills might befall me. If I make it through the next thirteen hours alive, it will be a miracle.

*All due respect to starz's (is that the right possessive form?) innovative 2004.01.28 post, which (I have just realized) significantly influenced the form of this post… totally subconsciously, I might add.

**All due respects to Matt's footnote fetish, which I'm totally and consciously ripping off right now.
...and so it was written, shenry at 2/10/2004 08:08:00 AM.
...and so it was appended with .