t-minus 7 days

Black tarry clouds lethargically ooze over the horizon. They portend the impending end and the immediacy of their arrival is nigh. The sickly dense clouds taint the sky with disease and wrap my world in an unholy aura of doom. Fleeing that which is pre-written is a futile waste of energy. Oddly, I don't wish to run. Instead, I wait with patient anxiety for the inevitable, hopping that I am ready.

For three months I knew this was coming and for three months I've done my best to prepare. I have seven solemn days for the creeping darkness to envelope me, which gives me seven days to double-check my provision and brace for the impact.

I had this dream that I eat breakfast and then try to start the car but the chronically ill Golf doesn't fire up. I started driving down Highway 70. No other cars are on the road, only me and a couple of abandoned vehicles pulled off on the shoulders. I park in barren gravel lot. Once again, I'm the only one there. Five miles away, on the other side of the parking lot, I see my destination: a giant, windowless, concrete building that resembles a prison or a military facility. I pull a spear out my car and start walking. Zombie samurais swarm me and begin to bite me and slash me. Luckily, the creatures are a lot like movie zombie; they are slow and clumsy. With my trusting thrusting spear, I decapitate the zombie samurais as I travel across the desert-like parking lot to the monolithic building. I enter the imposing building. Empty, except for me. A sea of tables stretches out as far as I can see under the dim orange lighting. I choose a random table and take a seat in a rusty folding chair. The clock on the wall catches my eye. There is 60-seconds until the Professional Engineer's Exam begins. I realize that I didn't bring any snacks or a lunch for this eight-hour endeavor. This annoys me. I notice that I forgot my books and calculator. All I have is a zombie slaying spear. My annoyance increases, yet I remain confident that I will pass the test without reference material or calculator. The secondhand on the clock indicates 30-seconds until the test begins. I remember drinking two-pots of coffee with breakfast and think to myself, "That was a dumb idea. I'll probably have to piss every 10-minutes." This thought is rapidly followed by the realization that I have to take the biggest crap of my life and the test is seconds away from starting. Tic-tic-tic.

I'm taking next week off of work and I seriously doubt I'll venture on-line, unless it's a brief peek from a library computer. So I guess this is farewell 'til April 19. But, just in case you're curious as to what Shenry is up to on any given day, here is my best projection:

• t-minus 7 days (today): Hit the gym and hang out with the missus and the kid.
  
• t-minus 6 days: Four-hours of studying. Hopefully, finishing up the Water Resources chapter. My dad said he will be in Denver this weekend, so I might chow some dinner with him.
  
• t-minus 5 days: Easter stuff. Hide some eggs. Eat some food. Hang out with my ma.
  
• t-minus 4 days: Eight-hours of studying Engineering Management practices. Hit the gym and blow off some steam.
  
• t-minus 3 days: Eight-hours of brushing up on topics I flipped through several months ago. Buy a Powerball ticket.
  
• t-minus 2 days: Eight-hours of studying and reviewing my secondary references, like the Highway Capacity Manual. One-hour of praying to the Hindu God of Luck, Ganesha.
  
• t-minus 1 day: One-hour of cursing Ganesha after I open the morning newspaper to discover I didn't win shit. Watch some brain-numbing movie like Dude, Where's My Car. Hit the gym. Spend a bit of time organizing my shit for tomorrow and making a decent lunch.
  
• P.E. day: Eight-hours of the Professional Engineer's Examination. One-hour of uncontrollable weeping and two-hours of drinking bottom-shelf Scotch until I puke.
  
• post P.E. day 1: Catatonic. If I can drag my piss-poor self out of bed I'll go see Kill Bill, Vol 2, which opens this weekend.
  
• post P.E. day 2: Marinate in a cup of coffee with Tiff, Anti-Shenry, and anybody else who cares to join us at Stella's Coffee House.
  
• post P.E. day 3: Barring any unforeseen misadventures, I should be back in the office bright & early and ready to re-immerse myself into scheduled normalcy.

See you then.
...and so it was written, shenry at 4/09/2004 09:07:00 AM.
...and so it was appended with .