the state

This email has been making the rounds at work. I think I've received it four times already. Originally, this list had 35 bullets and most of those were crappy. I distilled the more amusing pieces and I've modified a couple items that were not origionally funny but had potential.

You know you work for the State if...

1. When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
2. You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
3. Your biggest loss from a system crash is you lose your best jokes, mp3s, and porn cache.
4. Your office computer was just upgraded to a 200 MHz Pentium this year.
5. You and your peers always consume the free food left over from VIP meetings.
6. You see a good looking person and know he or she is a visitor.
7. Although you have a telephone, pager, e-mail, FAX, company distribution, Fed-X, US mail and co-equals sitting right on the other side of the partition...communication is a continuing problem.
8. You know --and everyone that works with you knows-- your performance is superior, but "satisfactory" is the highest level on the documented performance rating.
9. No money for raises, but always enough money for another useless conference or redundant procedural directive.
10. Organizational direction changes every 4 years, strangely coinciding with the gubernatorial term cycle.

...and so it was written, shenry at 5/03/2004 01:07:00 PM.
...and so it was appended with .