I'm reminded of…

Back before I met Sherry, I dated Melissa. Only we weren't really dating because she still lived with her ex and that felt weird. We'd go out for martinis or long evening walks in the park. We'd sit around listening to old jazz vinyl, drinking scotch and eating delivery calzones. Totally romantic shit like that. I even took her to a Bob Dylan concert followed by an atmospheric Greek diner. All this was very weird because we weren't dating, we weren't screwing, we weren't even shoving tongues down eachother's throats… we were just going on dates. I don't know why I kept inviting her and I'm not sure why she kept accepting. This went on for like 3-months, during which time I met Sherry. I really-really-really liked Melissa. She was hot. She was scary-smart. She was athletic. She was ambitious. She kicked ass. Unfortunately, I was ready for a relationship and Melissa looked like a dead-end. So I started dating Sherry while keeping in touch with Melissa in a very platonic manner.

One day out of the blue Melissa knocks on my apartment door. I let her in and --before I can say "hey"-- she tells me that she just moved out of her ex's place. I nod in a "that's nice" manner and motion toward the black pumps next to the door, the lipstick on the coffee table, the purse next to the couch. I tell her I now have a girlfriend. After twenty-minutes of uncomfortable conversation, she leaves. That is the last time I saw her. I tried to call her a couple of times for social gatherings, like "Hey, me and some friends are headed downtown do you want to meet us?" but she never came back around.

I reminisce and analyze: no initiative and bad timing. Poor Melissa. Like I said, I really-really-really liked her, but for some odd reason I never pursued her. Maybe it was the weird vibe of her living with her ex or maybe I somehow knew that Sherry was right around the corner. I know, for me, things have worked out for the best, but sometimes I wonder what would've happened had Melissa been more aggressive. Would've, could've, should've.

I'm not lamenting; I never felt like I should pursue Melissa. But, I do find it heartbreaking from Melissa's perspective. She missed out on me. The girl had three months to make a move, yet never did. How long did she expect an in-demand guy like myself to stay single?
...and so it was written, shenry at 7/12/2004 02:09:00 PM.
...and so it was appended with .