inflation

Yesterday a bum approached me. I saw him coming and I was prepared to give him a buck. When the bum asked for $10.00, I almost laughed. I had to summon every ounce of self-control to prevent myself from guffawing. I've had panhandlers ask me for $0.50 for the bus, for $1.00 for something to eat, for $1.50 for 40-ounces of Old English, for a couple dollars to get back home. I may have even had a couple bold bums ask for $5.00, but never ever $10.00. I guess inflation hits us all.

…

This morning I received a collect call from a person who identified him/herself (I couldn't tell) as "blehooal".

A sterile automated voice informs me, "You have a collect call from…" then a slurred mumble interjects, "…blehooal." the professional automated voice resumes, "To accept this call for $2.50 please press 'one'. To reject this call please hang up." So far this is standard collect call procedure, although $2.50 sounds a bit steep. Maybe for $0.50 I'd hit '1', but I'm at work and I don't know who this person is. I decide to hang up, but before I do the automated voice declares, "This call is being made from the Denver City jail." Crap. Now I hesitate to hang up. I also hesitate to accept. I let the message recycle and I still can't decipher the identity of the caller. I hang up.

The phone rings again. It's "blehooal", only this time the automated collect call message is in Spanish. I hang up. Good ol' "blehooal" calls four more times, once in English and the rest in Spanish. He/she is wearing down my defenses and, simultaneously, teasing my curiosity. I start second guessing myself. I flip through my mental rolodex of friends and family. I bite my lip as I imagine scenario after scenario of various emergencies that could involve my friends and the Denver P.D. I almost accept the last call. Instead, I tentatively decide to accept the next one. "Blehooal" doesn't call back.

So what's the point, shenry? If you're calling me collect --especially from jail-- please annunciate your name. Speak slowly, clearly, and loudly. Even if you're drunker than the bum who asked me for a 10-spot, please summon enough self-control to say your own name.

Additionally, this bit of pre-7:00AM weirdness reinforces the moral from the first tale about the $10.00 bum. Inflation sucks. I remember when bums asked for spare change and collect calls cost a quarter. If that collect call was a $0.25, I would've (possibly) accepted.

And to "blehooal": I'm sorry I didn't accept the call, man. Give me another ring once you figure out how to say your own name and I'll accept the call.
...and so it was written, shenry at 8/26/2004 07:45:00 AM.
...and so it was appended with .