is shenry a greek god?

Any of you guys out there feel like emasculating yourselves? I do.

There is this researcher dude, Earle Liederman, who spent/wasted a lot of time studying the various male body proportions of traditional Greek sculptures. Through his studies, Earle developed a correlation between wrist circumference and bunch of other body parts. Basically, given a man's wrist measurement Earle could calculate that man's ideal chest size, bicep size, waist size, etc.

I found this web site that has a nifty Male "Grecian Ideal" Proportions calculator. Who wants to know how they stack up against the Greek's top dogs like Zeus, Apollo, and Hercules? I'm a sucker for public humiliation, so here's how I, shenry, compare:

body part	shenry	greek god
wrist size	6.75"	6.75"
chest	38.0"	43.9"
waist	30.0"	30.7"
hips	33.0"	37.3"
bicep	15.0"	15.8"
forearm	11.75"	12.72"
thigh	22.75"	23.25"
calf	14.5"	14.9"
neck	15.0"	16.2"
penis	1.5"	2.5"

Remember, this is all based off of my wrist circumference.

Damn, I suck. If I were a Greek god I'd be Pussopholies, God of the feeble. What's up with my tiny chest? I swear I have pectoral muscles… last time I looked, anyway. Maybe they fell off and I never noticed. And you'd think with all the masturbation I do my forearms would be a tad closer to the ideal, if not surpassing the ideal. I find it sad that my thighs and calves are almost ideal. Whenever I wear shorts, Sherry falls to the ground laughing. Between gasps of air she blurts, "Cluck, cluck, cluck! Chicken legs!" Apparently the Greeks thought chicken legs were totally sexxxy. Too bad I'm not living in ancient Greece; I'd be hot from the waist down… except for the small wang.

Speaking of small units… when I think of old Greek sculptures, I think of small penises. From my limited sexual exploits with marble sculptures of the Greek persuasion, I must inquire: Why do they all have tiny peckers? My primary theory pertains to the ego of the artist. If I were sculpting the ultimate ideal of masculinity, I'd be damn sure the statue's pecker was smaller than mine. I may not have a 44-inch chest or a 16-inch neck, but my penile sword it mighty mighty (comparatively speaking). So if I were to sculpt such a statue I'd have to make the weenus smaller than 1.5-inches. Sad, sad, sad. People would point at the statue and ridicule its miniscule dick… much like they ridicule my own. But at least I'd have something to point at and mock, and I guess that's reason enough for me to start sculpting.
...and so it was written, shenry at 8/05/2004 09:37:00 AM.
...and so it was appended with .