In case of spontaneous zombie attack we'll need to meet at a safe place. I know, I know… a zombie attack probably won't happen, but do you really want to chance it? Look, we can spend 15-minutes right now figuring out what to do in case of zombie infestation or we can suffer the consequences. Personally, I'm not going to risk it; I prefer to have a plan. This is akin to fire drills. Nobody expects a raging fire to sweep through their house or apartment complex, but we still lay out plans just in case. If you think I'm being absurd then I don't want your needy ass compromising my zombie defense strategy. When the living dead walk this earth, don't come calling me. On the other hand, if you're willing to invest 15-minutes right now then we can work out a reasonable and cooperative plan.
I'll be the first to admit that I am not a zombie specialist; all I know is what I've seen in a couple of movies. If any of y'all want to jump in and refine or correct my assumptions please feel free.
By the time the zombies swarm our cities the undead catalyst --be it pathogen, radiation, or demonic possession-- will be a non-issue. The primary issue will be the duration of zombification. How long exactly will these zombies shuffle around before re-dying? We must make a conservative guess, say a decade. Given this excessive timeframe, it's safe to believe that all utilities --electricity, gas, water, etc.-- will eventually be kaput.
So where can we go and hang out for a decade? We're going to need access to supplies like food and water. We're going to need weapons and a decent amount of zombie-obliterating ammo. We're going to need a highly defensible position and a decent tactical plan.
In that one movie,
Dawn of the Dead, everybody went to the mall, which meets the needs for food and weapons. Unfortunately, I think a mall would suck to defend. I'm nixing the mall idea. In
28 Days Later a guy and his daughter were living at the top of a 40-story building. They collected rainwater in pots and pans. With the elevators disabled it's a very defendable position, the only access being the stairs. I see two problems here: (1) rappelling aside, there is no escape avenue, and (2) whenever we need supplies we're going to have to fight our way down 40-flights of zombie packed stairs.
One of those big-ass, brick-box, bulk stores might be good… Super Wal-Mart, Megalomart, Sam's Club, etc. They have plenty of supplies and wouldn't be too difficult to defend. They usually don't have windows so all we need to do is lock down the loading docks and drop the security gates across the entrance. If we can establish roof access then we'll have a great vantage point for recon.
An old castle would rock. Those things were built for shit like prolonged sieges. Too bad North America doesn't have a lot of oldschool castles.
Assuming zombies can't swim, a yacht --or an ocean liner if you have the manpower-- might work. Of course we'd have to dock from time to time for supplies.
The way I figure it, we shouldn't eschew urban areas. Cities are stocked with nonperishable foods, building materials, fuel, gun shops, and other miscellaneous necessities. Yet at the same time, cities will have the highest concentrations of undead.
His squoysterness, The Anti-Shenry, believes that staying mobile is the key. He suggests grabbing a military tank. Tank interiors are completely sealed off. Tanks can go anywhere. Tanks are armed like a sonuvabitch. The downside being the vulnerability when refueling, but if we had a two or three person tank crew then we should be okay. An awesome idea, though easier said than done.
Hmm. what to do, what to do?
Here's a draft plan that is open to comments and suggestions:
Upon first report of the walking dead, I'll roundup Lori and Sherry. We'll commandeer a Hummer or an equally rugged off-road vehicle and we'll head south to Fort Carson where we will secure ourselves an M1A1 Abrams Tank. Between the three of us, we'll make a killer tank crew. Once we have the tank in our possession and I figure out how to drive it, we'll make our way to
Page, Arizona.
I've never been to Page, but from what internet says the climate and weather looks reasonable. It's a small city (smaller than I was hoping for), right off Glen Canyon Dam… which is hydroelectric. See where I'm going here? Water supply, possibility of maintainable electricity, and house boats on Lake Powell work as a great emergency escape vehicles in case of an overwhelming zombie mass attack. Page even has a small airport. Perfect. The family and I will set up a temporary rendezvous site at the Wal-Mart off of South Lake Powell Boulevard. Join us as soon as you can, and try to bring a tank of your own. It would be nice to have a small company of tanks for zombie crushing.
I'm open to alternatives to Page. I like the idea of a nearby hydroelectric dam and resultant water reservoir. I'd prefer a slightly larger city or a city closer to a metropolis… you know on the off chance that I want to catch a zombie b-ball game (of course we all know that zombies have zero hops). A larger town would provide more options as far defensible buildings and miscellaneous supplies. Any suggestions?
(
Many thanks to the Anti-Me, who let me bounce ideas off of him despite the absurdity of it all. Sometimes it takes a true friend to humor my ludicrous paranoia.)
(The comments to this post were so excellent that I am adding them to the permanent post for future referencing.)
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| I like the plan and will gladly follow your lead in case of a Zombie Uprising. However, I would like to submit a variation on the plan. I agree with staying mobile. First if you could maybe swing by and grab at least two friends because I think we need two Abrams. Or if you could swing it an Abram and a M113 Bradley. That’s and armored personnel carrier. If they have anything that looks amphibious take that instead. Now you may be saying, “Hey get your own damn tank!” and I would but the base here is Luke AFB and Air Force pukes don’t get to play with armor. And I’ll be racing just as fast as I can to San Diego bay (as opposed to Page AZ). This is where the plan gets a tad ambitious, but hear me out.
matt | Homepage | 11.05.04 - 2:17 am | #
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| Part 1: The idea.
What we really need is an Aircraft Carrier. And San Diego supports no less then four of them. One is a regular Carrier and not a Super Carrier so we really don’t want that one but whichever seems we have the best chance of commandeering is best. Beggars not being choosers and all. It is known fact that in times of monster crisis military organizations go all to hell. And this will probably be the same. If they are in port most of the sailors and marines should be on leave. And then when the news reports hit there will be mass desertions of well meaning but misguided boys and girls trying to save there loved ones. So I think if we organize we have a shot.
Anonymous | 11.05.04 - 2:18 am | #
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Part 2: Pros and Cons.
Benefits of a Super Carrier: First off energy and water. They have two nuclear power plants capable of providing all the energy we need for 15 to 25 years. I’m not positive but I believe from what I read that they are monitored at all times but really require almost no maintenance. And the military is big on manuals so there should be info on board. Also they can turn 400 thousand gallons of sea water a day into fresh water. More then sufficient for our needs. Next food. A Nimitz class carrier specs at 70days of dried and refrigerated food for 6 thousand people. So even if we can get 2 thousand people together that would be enough for 210days. Plus the fact that we could use all the other spaces on the ship and the flight deck to store tons of dried goods. This will be a huge burden off re-supply missions.
matt | Homepage | 11.05.04 - 2:20 am | #
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| Part 2: Continued...
Defense: Where to begin. A Super Carrier stands 20 stories above the surface of the ocean. So we would have the high ground even if it was in dock instead of the anchored in bay. Second, they are outfitted for I believe a battalion of marines. I may have my grouping names messed up but regardless there should be plenty of personal firearms and ammo. Then if we can get the anti-aircraft guns to fire at the ground we could put a wall of lead in air that a fly couldn’t get through. Missiles are a bit more complicated but I think in time we could figure out how to use them and they could act as re-supply aerial support. Being able to carpet bomb a path to the grocery store would be handy.
Negatives of a Carrier: Obtaining one.
matt | Homepage |
11.05.04 - 2:21 am | #
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Part 3: Misc ideas and stuff.
Let me just touch on a couple of ideas about some details. First make up of stranglers we need for assault teams and to continue on the human race. You may think strong men for the initial taking of the Carrier and the re-supply missions. I can see the point, but I would have to disagree. I think we need single mothers of young children. Why? Because decisive and probably unpleasant decisions are going to have to be made fast and often and there is no one more ruthless then a mother trying to save her child. I’m not saying don’t take anyone else. Just that they will be the best recruits for Carrier City. Obviously well need men too.
matt | Homepage | 11.05.04 - 2:22 am | #
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| Part 3: Continued...
And lastly resuply. I see no reason we can’t just leave the Abram on the beach/dock. Nothing short of an anti-tank missile will get into that thing so I doubt Zombies will do more the scratch the paint. If we have enough ammo we can keep a guard in it at all times but if there is a horde around all the time it could cost us too much in ammo. However if we use the Abram to commandeer some amphibious assault vehicles we would be set for re-supply.
matt | Homepage | 11.05.04 - 2:23 am | #
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| Carrier secs here:
http://science.howstuffworks.com/aircraft-carrier3.htm
matt | Homepage | 11.05.04 - 2:24 am | #
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| This is great, Shenry. So great is it, that I think you should purchase a URL and put it on the search engines. Get a whole forum going. Make a site like ready.gov or something.
Seriously, I think you've hit on the "net's next big thing". See you in Page.
Your Role Model | Email | Homepage | 11.05.04 - 7:57 am | #
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| pt.1
You rock, Matt. Thanks for explicitly pointing out that "in times of monster crisis military organizations go all to hell." I kinda glazed over that fact, which is the key to success for this here plan.
The aircraft carrier is a brilliant idea. I didn't realize that they were nuclear powered and could turn brine to wine… er, water. Maybe it'll have a couple planes in the hangar, too. Do you know off hand what the minimum crew requirement are for operating our floating city? A population of 2,000 is a lot bigger than I was originally thinking in my Lake Powell scenario, but if we can support that many then let's do it. I think we should cap our population at that level. We'll need room to grow. I like your single mother theory. I also believe the male/female ratio should be 1/4 for ::ahem:: repopulation purposes.
shenry | Email | Homepage | 11.05.04 - 8:31 am | #
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| pt.2
I'll try and pick up some cool stuff at Fort Carson. My tank remains my priority, because what's the point if I can’t get to San Diego alive? If I have the man power, I'll get a couple amphibious vehicles too. With a tank or two blazing a path, I could lead a train of vehicles anywhere in North America.
You know, the quickest route to S.D. goes right through Las Vegas. I could pick you up if you want to wait around. It might take me a couple days to get there. Then again, it might be best not to wait for me… lots of zombie crap can happen between Fort Carson and Vegas; I may not make it. Your choice, eh. Cell phones are going to be really useful in the initial chaos. Let's plan on staying in touch that way. I'm guessing we'll have a couple months before the communication satellites fizzle.
shenry | Email | Homepage | 11.05.04 - 8:32 am | #
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| pt.3
Am I missing anything?
With 2,000 people, we'll need to establish some kind of organized government, but I think we can cross that bridge when we come to it.
shenry | Email | Homepage | 11.05.04 - 8:32 am | #
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| My Role Model, an open forum would be a great way to pre-plan. I truly believe that the world is unprepared for a zombie incursion. I'll look into it.
shenry | Email | Homepage | 11.05.04 - 8:33 am | #
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| Dying at my desk. Again. 
I'm good with Page, AZ, as I can drive up and meet you in short order.
And may I thank you for thinking in advance of our safety. You are too, too shenright--people have ignored this potential menace for far too long.
Kristie | Email | Homepage | 11.05.04 - 9:12 am | #
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| Oh I don't think it matters about the personell. Really the way it is setup we won't have to move it even in dock. Although it might be better if we put it out in the bay if we could. Then why move when all we need is there or a short trip inland. Or at least for the first year. that will give us plenty of time to learn it's systems.
Planes. Yeah there will be planes but unless we have people who can fly they will be useless. Hellicopters too. I figure that is cross when you come to it issure too. I did however forget to mention the aviation fuel. of which there i thousands of gallons.
matt | 11.05.04 - 9:43 am | #
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| And as for orginzation. It's your plan. That make you lead. Roll with it.
matt | 11.05.04 - 9:44 am | #
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| *laughs* this is what made me start reading your blog dude... gawd love ya.. make sure you guys save room for us.. cause I am all about a 'plan' when it comes to zombies.. *shudders* 28 Days Later REALLY fucked with my head.. every time I looked out the sunroom windows at the street and sidewalks outside I could just see them walking around(for WEEKS after seeing the movie).. I even discussed with Matthew the protection of the apartment if something like that happened.. yeah, we wouldn't be save.. the storm door in the back is great.. and the storm door in the front too, BUT they could get in the windows of the apartments below and be inside the building in seconds.
we need a plan...
Rach- | 11.05.04 - 7:30 pm | #
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| I like the aircraft carrier twist ... takes the mobility concept to a whole new level. One thing ... driving the carrier would be a bit tough .. especially getting it out of dock. My guess is that carriers probably have landing craft too ... makes things easier. There's something to be said for ambition ...
squoyster | 11.07.04 - 12:44 am | #
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...and so it was written, shenry at 11/04/2004 02:11:00 PM.
...and so it was appended with
.
