Friday night we hit the club scene. Sherry, Jeanie, and I went to the Paladium, because Jeanie's boyfriend works the bar and that means free drinks. Although the music is wrong, the price is oh-so right. As Sherry and I picked up Jeanie at her place, I experienced a flicker of sympathy of our third wheel. Poor Jeanie. Being third wheel sucks. Third wheel sits around sipping crappy Scotch while the other two friends laugh it up with inside jokes. Third wheel gives up on following the gossip because third wheel really doesn't understand what the fuck is going on. Third wheel ends up watching the Lakers/Kings basketball game on the humungous projection screen tv over the dance floor. (Tangentially, what kinda dance club shows a basketball game on the projection screen above the dance floor? Isn't that screen reserved for psychedelic imagery like ultra vivid tropical fishes swimming through computer generated spacescapes?) Third wheel is reduced to studying the crazy affects of black light on the plastic day-glow beads of his "FLY" bracelet. Third wheel is the one who is ready to leave long before the others.

Wait a second… Jeanie hates Scotch, dislikes basketball, and doesn't own a stylish "FLY" bracelet. So who was third wheel? You figure it out.

I don't want to be third wheel; it's boring. I need my own club buddy who is ready to hit the dance floor when the dj accidentally spins a good song. Judging by Friday night, no matter how hard a dj tries to string together one sucky song after the next, eventually he is going to slip and play something acceptable. At that moment I need a club buddy who will look me in the eye and grin. Without speaking a word we'll weave to the dance floor and throw down our funk.

I think I'll start taking applications.

Wanted: One club buddy. 21-yo or older. M or F. Smoker ok. No exp needed. I'm looking for that special someone to entertain me when my wife and her friend are yakking at the bar. Dance floor visits mandatory. Robot, funky chicken, grinding, and worm ok. Need someone who will pretend that I have rhythm.
...and so it was written, shenry at 11/29/2004 01:17:00 PM.
...and so it was appended with .