First there was the Role Model Excellence in Parenting Award. And now --as further testament to my inspired parenting skillz-- Lori has been named Student of the Month at her school.

Some may say that Student of the Month is Lori's award. But I say her receipt of this award is a reflection of her home life, specifically the influence of her genius father. Thank you, one and all, Lori accepts Student of the Month and dedicates it to me.

Some may say that, statistically speaking, every student at Lincoln Elementary will eventually win this award. Each classroom is allowed to tattoo Student of the Month across two students' foreheads. If, mathematically speaking, a classroom has 20 kids and the school year last 10 months (Sept-June) then eventually every child, deserving or undeserving, will receive a Student of the Month Award. But I say, "pah-shaw!" My child is the Student of the Month and unless she tests positive for steroid use they can't take it away from her.

So hurray for Lori for taking names and kicking ass at school. And, hurray for me for programming Lori with my mastermind skillz.

(For those of you in need of professional childrearing advice, I am a certified expert and I am here for you.)
...and so it was written, shenry at 12/06/2004 01:41:00 PM.
...and so it was appended with .