The air is bursting with the beauty of early fall. Green leaves still dominate trees while hints of yellow, red, and brown portend the end of summer and the beginning of autumn. The days are not unbearably hot and nor are they insufferably cold; the fluctuation of seasons creates a brief and unique atmosphere.

So what the fuck are we doing at work?

Leaving work early today is totally shenright. Truthfully, leaving work early any day is shenry-sanctioned, but today it's particularly shenright since shenry, himself, is busting out early.

Life is too full not to leave work early. It's that old adage: As you draw your dying breath will you look back on your life and think, "Shit, I wish I would've spent more time at work"? Fuck no. There are about a trillion other things I'd rather spend my limited time doing.

I know, I know… that report you're cranking out needs to be ready to mail Monday morning. And that program you're working on needs to be debugged by the close of business today. And those pallets need to be unloaded before the weekend. And you need to cook up another four batches of crack rock for the weekend party crowd. And, and, and. But really, what's the worst that could happen if that shit waits until Monday? Fired? No, provided your exit is shenright. Reprimanded? Not if you leave the shenright way. Praised and promoted? It's possible if you take a shenright approach.

When you leave today, don't be a suspicious weasel trying to crawl past your boss's office. Don't run past the receptionist with a guilty look on your face. Don't try to sneak out through the HVAC ducts. Don't play ninja and rappel eight stories out the bathroom window. Instead do the opposite. When you leave early today, strut confidently with jacket and attaché in hand. Make it obvious that you're leaving. Pause at your boss's door just long enough to say, "I'm outta here; cover for me. See ya Monday." Turn and start walking before boss-dude can respond. As you pass coworkers on your way out, give them that aren't-you-jealous grin and nod. If you have subordinates, make a point to stop by their cubicles to drop a subtle hint, "Hypothetically speaking, if your supervisor (i.e., me) mysteriously disappeared for the rest of the afternoon there would be nothing standing between you and the exit."

So get the fuck out of here and do something worthwhile with your afternoon.
...and so it was written, shenry at 9/24/2004 01:35:00 PM.
...and so it was appended with .