Shenry has this theory based around the modularity of the human brain. You know, language center is here, short-term memory there, conscious logic on this side, unconscious decisions on the right, left index pinky finger control next to the dead spot, dead spot curtsey of misspent youth. And remember that all motor controls are cross wired so that the left hand-foot-etc. are directed by the right side of the brain and the left side of the brain directs the right hand-foot-etc.

Most of us, approximately 85%, are right handed. We eat, wash, throw, and do everything else with our right hand. The world, from can openers to gas pedals, is set up to reinforce and accommodate our handedness. The majority of what we do is controlled by the left brain hemisphere. If follows that our left hemisphere along with all the brain modules on that side are receiving constant stimulation, be it direct, adjacent, or slightly removed carry over neural activity. While the left thrives, the right hemisphere is forced to survive with less direct activity and subsequent stimulation.

What would happen if we stimulated the under-used right brain by doing more with our left brain? Probably nothing, but why not give a shot and see. Ill conceived, unscientific, empirical experimentation is shenright.

This weekend let's do stuff with our left hand. Write a left-handed letter and give left-handed wedgies to the people who think your sloppy print indicates that you have the mental facilities of a kindergartener (hey, that's actually an upgrade for shenry). Maybe throw a ball with your left hand, dial the phone with your left hand, and eat tacos with your left hand. If you've never masturbated with your left hand then it's about time you tried; it's a remarkably different experience. The key is to do as much as possible this weekend with your left hand and see if you feel different after all that right brain stimulation. Shenry is going so far as to switch his computer mouse to the left handed position.

I guess this is less shenright and more shenleft, eh?


(And to all you lefties out there:

You have my have my sincerest sympathies. You were born an unholy abomination of nature and you are going to hell. Obviously, you didn't choose to be born this way, but your twisted and perverse trait has damned you in the ever-forgiving eyes of god. …at least that's what the crazy hermit under the viaduct told me and after recently being cursed under the bloodmoon of pestilence I'd be a fool not to believe everything he says.)
...and so it was written, shenry at 10/29/2004 11:00:00 AM.
...and so it was appended with .