There exists a giant, mega-evil database that is referred to as The Beast. The Beast is one of those hush-hush government sanctioned Orwellian programs controlled by the Illuminati in conjunction with the Free Masons. The location of The Beast is unknown to shenry, though he has several logical guesses: beneath Mount Rushmore, deep within the NORAD mazes under Cheyenne Mountain, hidden in the darkness of Disney Land's Space Mountain, or perhaps in the unprobed depths of Lake Erie.

Wherever it may lie, The Beast watches us. Every move we make is tracked by The Beast and cross-keyed to our social security number. Library books, credit card purchases, loan applications, telephone calls, prescription medication, income, and internet surfing are the obvious data sets. If you don't believe the government (as supported by the Illuminati in conjunction with the Free Masons) is tracking these things then you are touchingly naïve. The Beast is real and The Beast is hungry. It devours and stores more than you realize. You know your little innocuous grocery store cards that give you Sooper savings? All that data feeds The Beast. Any time you swipe a work security badge the data is siphoned to The Beast. The truth is, any card with a magnetic strip or barcode is a tool of the nefarious database.

Crackpot conspiracy theory? Secret societies, black helicopters, and Cthulhu garbage? Nay, Reality with a capitol "ITY". Shenry isn't talking about that microchip in your neck bullshit; he's talking about reality. We need not worry about embedded microchips, though it will be a fact of life for our children's children. For now.we have GPS chips in our cell phones that map our every move. If you have your cell phone with you, The Beast knows where you. The Beast knows everything about you.

In this day and age, avoiding the eye of The Beast is all but impossible. We are assigned social security numbers at birth. Drive's licenses are more of a need than a want. Credit cards, bank accounts, security badges, telephones, and internet are the means by which our society functions. The Beast has planned our technological evolution to serve its purpose.

For now, we cannot defeat The Beast, but we can take precautions to avoid its surveillance. For example, shenry refuses to use grocery store savings cards. So, cut up your grocery store card; it's a small price to pay to circumvent the beast. If you can't live without the Sooper savings, then reapply for a card and refuse to fill out the personal info. Most grocery chains will let you do this. When a cashier at a big retail store asks for your zip code, refuse (or if you don't want to hurt the clerks feeling, give a fake zip). When you make reservations at restaurants or hotels, use a pseudonym. And, if you're really feeling the "Kill the beast! Cut his throat! Spill his blood!" spirit then shenry suggests stapling your cell phone to a wild boar in an attempt to convince The Beast that you've gone insane and are wandering the woods like shenry's feral father. Little things like this slowly add up and ever-so-slightly-though-never-completely confound The Beast.

The Beast is shenwrong; thus, fighting its insidious grip is shenright.



(If shenry is rubbed out anytime soon, take it as proof that The Beast is real and the Illuminati feels compelled silence shenry's truth. Yet, perhaps through that last statement, shenry has stalemated their motives to assassinate him. The Illuminati can destroy shenry and serve you proof of The Beast on a silver platter, or the Illuminati can let shenry live and allow him to continue his ceaseless war against The Beast and its maker, The Man.)
...and so it was written, shenry at 12/03/2004 01:22:00 PM.
...and so it was appended with .