What is right? What is wrong? What is good? What is evil? Fuck if shenry knows. The only thing shenry claims to partially understand is right and wrong as he subjectively perceives them, thus shenright and shenwrong. Shenright is not synonymous with the universal absolute right. In fact, shenry has this sneaking suspicion that concepts such as good and evil don't actually exist in any independent form; such concepts require cognitive context.

Remove humans from the universal scheme and good and bad cease to exist. Impartially observe as a fucking huge asteroid runs a stop sign and obliterates Earth (remember we don't exist in this scenario). Is this good or bad? Without us here to judge, the event is neither.

Now let's say a huge, ass-ramming asteroid makes an illegal double-turn and obliterates Earth along with its single resident, shenry. Is this good or bad? As shenry perceives it, this is definitely a sheniquitous shenpocalypse, but the universe-at-large doesn't give a flying shit smear. The sun still burns. Planets still spin. And, the hidden cosmic sprockets of entropy still turn.

Every Friday, shenry comes to you with a shenright mission to be performed over the weekend. This is shenry's attempt to rebuild the universe into a shenhanced shenriverse, where all things are conshencrated and shenctified per his percepshens of right and wrong. This weekend shenry wants you to reflect upon your own personal perceptions of right and wrong and dub them [your name]right. Your theories on right/wrong and good/evil are just as valid as anybody else's, and only slightly less valid than shenry's. Meditate upon the little things around you that are good and problem solve the things you find annoying. Contemplate your version of morality. Really dig into it. Try to pinpoint the exact motivation for tagging something as [your name]right or [your name]wrong. Run through various permutations of make believe scenarios to test your beliefs:

Do you consider lying to be [your name]wrong? What if a small fib will guarantee poon later tonight, is lying now [your name]right?

Do you consider murder to be [your name]wrong? What if a small killing will guarantee poon later tonight, is murder now [your name]right?

Are soft, fuzzy, lovey kittens [your name]right? What if somebody abandons 2,892.4-lbs of kittens on your front porch? You can't sleep because the little biters whine all night. You need to take out a second mortgage to feed them all. And the inconsiderate bastards crap all over the place, leaving you ankle-deep in cat crap. Are kittens still [your name]right?

Once you feel completely secure with [your name]right, write an essay about it. Describe the meaning of [your name]right and the fundamental beliefs upon which your perceptions of right and wrong stand. Prove the legitimacy of [your name]right. Persuade others that [your name]right is true and defend your position to those critics who are inclined to disagree. Lastly, and most importantly, discuss how [your name]right coincides with the shencratic doctrines of shenright. Detail the manner in which [your name]right will further the quest for a complete and perfect Shentopian shenriverse.

Your essay will be graded using standard letter grades: A, B, C, D, F, and Z. Grades will be assigned arbitrarily as shenry sees fit.
...and so it was written, shenry at 1/28/2005 11:16:00 AM.
...and so it was appended with .